“Cultivating Enduring Connections”

“Cultivating Enduring Connections” is a very beautiful term for what can be very practical ideas and simple actions. The idea is that during a life-limiting illness, there is an opportunity to put a special focus on reinforcing bonds of relationship, memory, and attachment that can lead to healing and wholeness after the person dies.

Grief is a powerful emotional force that sometimes puts down negative roots that stays with the Bereaved for a lifetime and can manifest in unhealthy ways. However, the opposite is also true! Grief can also be a very powerful force of transformation, commitment, and living in a positive legacy. Like water, grief is neither good nor bad in itself, but can have incredibly powerful impact depending on the route it takes.

So how can we be purposeful in our grief in advance of experiencing loss through death?

One way the Valley Hospice Foundation works to bring about this positive route is the projects we fund to “Cultivate Enduring Connection” for persons and families experiencing Palliative Care in the Valley.

In this photo, a spritely young person is crafting away at Valley Hospice while their family is gathered to support their loved one. On the table they are making “Fingerprint Keepsakes”. We use this fingerprint stamping kit in many ways at Hospice. Sometimes families will use it like a guest book- adding their fingerprint to the “family tree” or making hearts by laying two fingerprints on top of each other. Sometimes siblings will take the fingerprint and get memorial tattoos to honor their parent. Sometimes we make keychains and place the slips of paper inside, sometimes signed with love from the patient, or with a quote on the back.

These keychains are especially loved by the little people we support at Hospice. When they choose to return to school, sometimes it’s hard to leave their person at Hospice, so this is a way they can bring their persons “hand” with them to hold whenever they like. Or they can make their own fingerprint to leave at hospice.

This particular young person was so enamored by the project, she asked if she could not only make one for her person, but for all her friends too! (Which of course we thought was a lovely idea!) So, while she crafted away, I read some books from our Grief Library that were specifically about that idea of enduring connection. At the end of our time together, she was able to choose a book for herself and for her younger siblings to take home and keep as a keepsake.

We have a number of ideas for “Cultivating Enduring Connection” that I’ll share here on this page in the month ahead. Perhaps there will be something you can do with your loved ones or ideas you’d like to share as well.

With enduring love, (that never fades, passes, or ends)
~Sarah Scott